Commercial Interruption

OK, I will stop harping on the writers' strike for a moment ...

So, Kyle is promoting a big show tonight featuring one of his all-time music heroes, Eric Bachmann. And while it is sure to be awesome (Bachmann, performing for several years as Crooked Fingers, and before that, as a member of the seminal indie band Archers of Loaf, has this gravely voice that digs down under listeners' skin until it pierces their hearts, an experience that is much more pleasant than one might think. And, oh yeah, he does the best Prince cover I've ever heard.), I think we both are pretty anxious about it. You see, Kyle's put down a pretty big guarantee on this thing, meaning he needs about 50 people to come to this show, a daunting goal considering a.) It's Tuesday, b.) The cover is $12.

But perhaps the scarier thought is that Eric and another bandmate might be spending the night at our house. And that possibility has prompted a cleaning frenzy over here at Friendship Village. There has been sweeping, dusting, de-cluttering, dishes-doing, animal hair removal, and shortly, fridge-cleaning and a total household vacuuming in our effort to trick him into thinking that we don't live in filth. And by "we," I mostly mean "me," as anyone who has checked out my desk at work can attest.

So, anyway, as part of the cleaning madness, I decided to clean that daggone mesh screen in the hood of the stove, even though I totally know it is one of those things that only I would notice. Man, was that thing nast-tay. It was brown, like the brown of an acorn, of milk chocolate, of certain types of poo. And, also thanks to years of neglect, it was rubber cement-sticky. I decided to let my fingers do the walking, and used dear ol' Google to find a cure for the gross. Happily, I quickly found a site that had what I was looking for: A number of postings on different screen-cleaning techniques. Most suggested the use of harsh chemicals, which, although I am no fan of such things, I would have totally employed, had that not required I make a trip to the store to buy 'em.

Because, duh, I am lazy.

So, after a brief -- and failed -- experiment trying to bake the grease off in the oven, I tried another suggestion, and I soaked the thing in a mixture of OxyClean and hot water in our kitchen sink. Man, I have no idea what was in that shit, but it worked amazingly well. The water bubbled and fizzed and turned ever more brown as the screen came clean. Within 30 minutes -- and with no scrubbing -- it was was a shiny silver color and no longer sticky to the touch. Magic.

So, yeah, my new plan for life involves scrubbing down every surface with the stuff, including my own skin. I can only imagine the wonders it will bring.